For about a year, I just couldn't decide what to do after school. Moving far away is such a big ordeal, but there's always that allure. But for the first time, perhaps, I feel some acceptance of my life here in Indianapolis. I think I might be happy here--or at least around here. Of course, there's no guarantee that I'll find a job here.
I'm such a control freak sometimes but there's so little I have control over right now. Maybe life is teaching me a lesson. Maybe I should just roll with the punches. I think I'm doing better with that. But there's constantly a rumbling in the pit of my stomach, a lingering nervousness that rarely fades. Even when you're established and settled down and all, there are no guarantees, but you at least know generally where your life is heading. I miss feeling that pseudo-guarantee. But I know that without change and giving up control, there can be no betterment.
Can I get an amen? Would that even be appropriate? You're all wonderful.
2 comments:
I feel like I've been just going with the flow for most of my life, not just because I find it easier, but because I believe control is an illusion. To me, life seems to be made up of so many tiny things that we have no control over, you just have no other choice than to go with what's thrown at you. And hope you'll have a little bit of lucky (that's a soccer reference).
Can you please come out for a visit? The four of us could all hang out again!!!
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