all i regret now is i never kissed your mouth, 'cause there's something about what happens when we talk

I love Lucinda Williams, so when I saw that she was playing a small club here in the city, I struggled about buying concert tickets when I was trying to buy a new home. It seemed like a splurge, but now that I've bought the tickets anyway, I feel so super-stoked. I can't imagine anything stupider than not going to this show. So yeah, I'm going to a fucking Lucinda Williams show! Cue the tears and heartbreak. Speaking of the new home, I have a closing date! This week, I signed all the mortgage application documents and had the inspection. It's hard to go through an inspection. None of it is good news. They just keep finding things that need fixed. How is that supposed to help with trying to stay excited? But I'm still excited. I just moved 6 months ago, so I'm really dreading doing it again. Plus, I need boxes. I have tons of stuff, and I think I kept maybe 5 boxes, since I didn't think I'd be moving so soon. So I only need like 65 more boxes. Or thousands of people who can carry a few things in their arms about ten miles across the city.

i've crawled on glass to grasp at straws, studdering, staggering through

When last we blogged together, I was considering a condo purchase. Now, I have a signed purchase agreement. The realtor sent me a few places, but I didn't really like any of them, so I found some on my own. And now I'm buying one, which should be simple enough. Find one. Get a mortgage. Sign some papers. Move in. Wait to die.

It's not so simple though. Realtors should give you anti-ulcer pills.

Can I really afford this? Is this the right place? Can I do this on my own? Why am I 31 years old and no one has ever even briefly considered living with me, let alone spending the rest of their life with me? What if I lose my job? What if I go to the hospital and I don't have medical insurance and I am suddenly piss broke? Do people really believe in Jesus rose from the dead? Can I find someone to take over my apartment lease?

I won't go on. I'm getting worked up again.

i am still living with your ghost, lonely and dreaming of the west coast.

I had a realtor today e-mail me a bunch of condos in my area. I've been thinking about making a purchase for a while now, but having an e-mail full of pictures makes me very nervous. On one hand, it's a great time to buy something. But on the other eight hands, is the condo building still going to look nice in ten years? What if I want to move soon? What if I have a horrible neighbor and unlike in my apartment, I can't just wait for them to get evicted? What if something goes wrong and I have no idea how to get it fixed?

There are some very low prices right now, and buying a condo is far less nerve-inducing than buying an actual house. Plus, no mowing and no gutter cleaning. Do I really want to go look at some of these places? I think I do.

he's got chicken liver balls. he's got chicken liver spleen.

It seems like it has rained, snowed, or iced every day for the last 32 months or so. Area goth people must be loving it. I do not. It's not like I sit out in the sun getting tan, but it's nice when sunshine peeks through the curtains as I lay on the couch on my day off.

Today, the sole fell off one of my shoes as I was walking around at work (damn vegan shoes), and I had to spend the rest of the day walking around in a shoe with no sole (on a body with no soul.) It was uncomfortable for a few minutes, but then it felt sort of nice, only having a thin pleather layer of material between my foot and the floor. I wish floors were all free of debris so that I could just wear socks. I would buy some awesome socks. I already have some awesome socks, but no one ever sees them. That's unfortunate, really.