wargasm, wargasm 1-2-3, tie a yellow ribbon 'round the amputee

Do you, dear readers, know the pressure I place on myself to keep you coming back?

I've been eating tainted peanut butter. Yes, I have a 2111 on my lid. Don't panic, faithful reader. I feel fine. After a foot of snow, did ConAgra Foods really think a nasty case of salmonella would keep me down? I feel like standing on a table yelling Sally Field-ish chants. I feel that good.

I've cut back on work hours again, so this post is also a call to action. I need money.