you will always be my whore, 'cause you're the one that i adore.

I am now one step closer to being America's Next Top Mortician. I had my finals last week for my first semester back in school, and I did quite well if i must say so myself. Wouldn't Next Top Mortician be a great TV show, though? Let's see who would host... I think it would definately be Ron Smith of Saint Louis. The work he does is incredible. A string of goths and emo boys would be guest judges. Janice Dickinson could probably be on it too.

So Christmas is in a few days. I found some gorge Christmas lights at Menards that are--are you ready?--pigs. That's right, I said pigs. They also had fishing lures, ears of corn, John Deere tractors, camping trailers, and many many more. I nearly did something in my pants when I saw them all. (I'll let you decide what I almost did in my pants.)

hangin' tough! hangin' tough! hangin' tough! we're rough (rough, rough)!

(Here you go Christoph.) So I went to K-Mart today because I needed a new phone. I thought, why not K-Mart? So I went to the ghetto-est of all K-Marts in Indianapolis. What a statement... And I am now the proud owner of a new phone.

That's all the K-Mart stories you'll have to suffer through today, dear readers. There's one other story I want to tell, but I'm not completely sure I want it out there for the world. I think I'll keep it to myself, at least for now.

I saw some dumbfuck geeks (that's how I've referred to them today) camping outside Best Buy today in the cold and rain. Of course, those playstations or x-boxes or whatever they're waiting for will get a hefty multi-thousand dollar profit on e-bay, but as I said, it's cold and rainy and they don't go on sale until tomorrow.

it's been seven hours and fifteen days

Nothing really new to report. Hopefully my blog isn't losing steam. I started off so strong, what with the wit and the charm and the good looks (you could just tell by reading, right?). I'll be back. Don't worry, readers. Feel free to post encouraging comments. I do enjoy encouraging comments.

if i should stay, I would only be in your way

I saw my first cadaver today. Very exciting. I was trying not to smile but I couldn't help it. Sick, right?

i can't stop messin' with the danger zone

I didn't really have anything to post on here today, but I've been listening to Cyndi Lauper and had the urge to post a message with that lyric. I suppose I could stick with the topic of said lyric, but I doubt that you, dear readers (who are multiplying!), want to read about that. Yes, readers, I mean masturbation.

There's really only one direction to go once you're glassed over masturbation, and I think we all know what direction that is: actual sex with another person. And I just have one thing to say on that topic. Rivers Cuomo, if you're out there and you're reading this, the rumors are true...

Good night, sweethearts.

and when it lands, will my eyes be closed or open?

I had an unbelieveably shitty day at work, and when I got home, my copy of "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" had arrived from Netflix broken almost completely in half. Come on!

it's not a habit, it's cool. i feel alive.

I'm still not convinced that I need a blog. But I have one. So here I go again.

I met a spicy single mother in one of my classes. Her birthday is next weekend and I bought her a light-up Halloween pen. I've only known her for a few days, so forgive me for spending only a couple dollars. Plus, I bought one for myself too, so we can be pen-buddies in class. How hot is that? We exchanged noted all day last week like middle-school girls, except with more adult topics. Probably not as unlike middle school girls as I assume... Anyway, I don't talk to a lot of new people, so that's what makes this a story.

I feel such a responsibility to make my little entries so enjoyable for both of you, dear readers. I do hope I succeed.

we all live in mono

So an old friend came to town this past weekend. We had gotten into a big fight a few years ago and had barely spoken since then. I come off looking a little bad in the story so I won't get into it. But it was good and weird to reconnect. I'm normally a person who cuts other people out of my life just because I'm a bitch, so it was refreshing to let someone back in. Anyway, it was a nice weekend.

And that's how you tell a story, people.

this is what you get when you mess with us

Being a non-traditional student is so much different that when I went to college right out of high school. I get so angry at the 18-year-olds and their self-centered rudeness. I hope I didn't come off that way at 18. Though I did use to fall asleep in class sometimes (not on purpose though) and I guess that was pretty bad. A guy in my math class yesterday actually just put his head down and went to sleep before class even started and then left half-way through. Why even come? No one forces you to go to class. And when he's awake, he's openly assholic to the professor. And yes, it's a 3-hour math class and it's hard to get through it, but every single week, it's only we 5 old folks still in class at the end. Every week. Irritating. I can't wait to get my hands on a cadaver.

colonel sanders says it best: "finger lickin' good"

With tomorrow being the 5-year anniversary of September 11th, I guess now would be as good a time as any to debate whether Peyton Manning is hot or not, and why.

So as not to bias this otherwise-scientific survey, and to uphold my jounalistic-ish integrity, I will keep my opinion to myself. I think it's better that way.

(I apologize for the change in fonts for this post. I'm trying to find a signature style to keep you both coming back for more.)

i crossed an ocean for a heart of gold

It just took me about 20 minutes to figure out how to log back in here to post again, so I hope it is worth it to probably the only two people who will read this (shout out to c+c, and no, not the music factory featuring martha wash on vocals--you may also have unconsciously recognized that voice as the singer from "it's raining men" fyi).

anyhow, I just had a nice dinner/dessert of chopped up bananas with chocolate syrup and crushed cookies. I'm out of ice cream or it might have been good. I'm searching my head for a better story to tell but I can't think of one. I also had some one percent milk. And then I looked for my Marilyn Manson CD but I can't find it for some reason. Have you seen it? It was shiny on one side and had some freaky picture on the other side. It was in my car but I've been looking in there for several days now because I wanted to listen to Disposable Teens (and they truly are, all of them) and apparently I didn't bring it inside. I didn't think I had, but since it wasn't in the car, where else could it have been? Apparently somewhere else altogether.

I really think I have a fresh new perspective to add to the blogging world.

i made it through the wilderness

I've finally joined the cutting edge world of blogging. What has taken me so long...? Lack of anything to say? Of course not. Fear that not one person in the whole world would ever read anything I say? Wrong again. Wondering if it required a sense of self-importance to think anyone would visit and keep up with me? Still no. Stay tuned for the real answer!!!

(Hint: It may be "all of the above.")