i'm gonna lock my son up in a tower till i write my whole life story on the back of his big brown eyes

You know who you are. You know what's wrong. You can't keep going on like this. You know what you need to do. You know what you need to change. You know what you have to change. This is all for you. This is all about you.


You're a watchdog, and I need you to be an intruder. It can't go on like this.

my lover, i'd rather be under than getting over you

I finally started reading the first Harry Potter book. I know. Where have I been? I must say I'm enjoying it. I don't really like reading a book after I've seen the movie version though, because then you just end up relying on the imagination of the movie makers instead of your own. But I like it anyway.

you'll never gain weight from a doughnut hole

I really only wanted to post an entry so that I could use the doughnut hole line. Unfortunately the last few days have slipped by with little to no accomplishment; thereby, I have little to discuss. Should I just offer up a word or two about Kevin O'Connor from PBS' "This Old House"? No? Well, ok. I was only trying to open up a discussion.

like Prince said you're a sexy mother--

Oh readers, where do I begin?

My sister's wedding went pretty well. I was making a misery of myself in the beginning of the reception, but then started to get caught up in the moment and got myself drunk on Crown and Coke and danced--to be more specific, I ruled the dance floor (wasn't able to get myself laid though.) Nearly a week later, I am still in a bit of pain. A John Travolta-style knee slide may look cool, but it's really not good for the joints. But your only sister doesn't get married every day, right? It was great to get to share that time with her just acting crazy. Being a stick-in-the-mud doesn't afford me that many opportunities to behave so. I'm sorry more people weren't able to see it.

So readers, now it is your turn to share some wild and crazy recent experiences. It's as easy as 1-2-3! Just click on the comments and tell us all something new and interesting about yourself.

(And Christoph, you know you've always been my favorite. I guess it's your sweet sweet face.)

don't bother. i won't die of deception.

Sometimes I think my blog serves as nothing more than evidence of my moodiness. I'm just glad that it's interesting enough to keep the three of you coming back for more.

one two three four tell me that you love me more

A mouring dove hatched a couple of eggs on my balcony and the babies flew away today. (I'm not being metaphorical. It's actually just a statement.)

My sister is getting married in a few days. I never understood why people cry at weddings, but I tear up when I think about it. My sister is obviously the person I've spent the most time with in my life. We were always close, and even though we have been talking more lately than we have in a few years, it just seems like some sort of loss to know she's going to be married. Married people are different. She won't have the same last name anymore. She'll be part of her own newly-defined family. Once you're married, your family is another set of people. You get older, you have kids, you start to call your family the people who live under your roof. Except I get older, and I am more alone all the time. I'll never have that "family." I'm a sad, weird, slightly-pathetic introvert who can't even say any of this stuff out loud. My favorite friend is half-way across the world and just got engaged. The best friend I have in the city doesn't need me nearly as much as I need him. And I try to make new friends or date and most of the time can't figure out exactly which category someone is trying to fit me into, though usually it is neither. And the worst part is that I don't blame them. So welcome to the pity party-boat. Get off while you still can.

i'm half alive but i feel mostly dead.

Do you sense it, dear readers? It's a beautiful summer day outside and I have a brand-new reader. Cookies and punch! Can everyone give Ms. New Reader a nice warm welcome? You may remember her from one of my first-ever posts as a wonderful character that goes by the likes of Nurse Kill. In case you don't remember the particular post, let me refresh your memory as so. I had a little problem with obsessing over phrases that might sound more demented coming from a nurse with her particular last name, par example: "Hello, Little Jimmy. My name is Nurse Kill. Your mommy was very sick when she came into the hospital." I'll let you finish that conversation in your own heads, but it doesn't bode well for Little Jimmy.

I'm freezing, I'm starving, I'm bleeding to death. Everything's fine.

Dear readers, I do not wish to alert you, but your beloved blogger has fallen ill. Some say it's just a mild summer cold, but in this age of tuberculosis and smallpox, one cannot be too careful!

My classes start back on Wednesday. Nothing too difficult this summer--just a drole computer class and sociology. I've been looking for a proctor to take the classes for me, but nothing yet. The search continues.

Who you callin' a cootie queen, you lint licker? (my favorite chewing gum commercial)

Take care, readers! Until next time, be safe, be mobile, and--most of all--be able!

on the surface simplicity

Could everyone who reads this please make me one promise: see Bjork live. Whether you like her or not. I realize she doesn't tour very often, so even if you have to go to Iceland and knock on her door and hand her a check and ask her to sing a little ditty for you, do so. Of course, I completely adore her, so you may not care about my opinion. But just listen to this objective bystander: "Bjork is amazing. Long live Bjork." See. I told you.

they say I'm plump but I throw up all the time

I finished my second semester of my return to school a couple days ago. I'm on vacation from work next week, and I am doing my job shadowing thing with an embalmer. I can't wait. And then I'm going to see Bjork in Chicago (she's performing in Chicago, not the musical Chicago--though wouldn't that be fun?). She's pretty much my favorite person in the whole world, so obviously, more excitement. Let the happiness ensue!